Your teen’s self esteem is extremely low. Most of all it causes many, if not, all your teen’s problems. Furthermore you caused it. Consequently its your responsibility to fix the problem. And it’s not as simple as saying, “You’re great” or “You can do anything you want.”

What Is Self Esteem?

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” While’s definition is, “a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself.” A phrase that better expresses this is self respect. Other synonyms are confidence, dignity, worth, respect, assured and proud.

How Did You Cause Your Teen’s Self Esteem Problems?

First of all, stop blaming yourself. Your parents, without them knowing it, caused your own self esteem problems. Therefore you, without knowing it, cause your teen’s low self esteem. With this in mind, be gentle on yourself. You made a mistake. That’s true. However, you didn’t know what you were doing. If you are like me, in high school I had two classes on how to drive a car. Behind the wheel and classroom. That’s two more classes than I, and probably you, had on how to be a parent.

That’s no one’s fault. But it is a reality.

How Do You Identify Your Teenager’s Problem?

Almost three out of every four teenage girls feel bad about their looks and are attempt to physically look better by losing weight. About 50% of high school girls are attempting to lose weight. On the other hand, nearly 40% of teenage boys want to increase muscle mass, so they lift weights and work out regularly sometimes excessively.

You need to look for low self esteem problems when your teenager son or daughter has difficulty making new friends, avoids trying new things, has few interests, is unmotivated, fears failing at everything especially relationships with the opposite sex, doesn’t look you in the eyes, isolates in the bedroom, excessively plays computer games, talks negatively about himself/herself and others, blames you for everything, “You’ve never loved me.”

What Do We Do to Build Confidence in Our Teenager?

Because you caused your teenager’s problem, you need to “help” solve it. Start by simply treating your son or daughter as if they were your best customer. You know what it’s like to be a best customer. You receive a smile and hear “It’s so nice to see you again. How can I help you?” You then receive what you asked for and then a little more.

Our puppy Finnegan’s groomer treats us like we’re their best customer. They always smile and call us by our names. They know how to groom Finnegan, however, they ask us what we want and listen intently when we tell them. They tell us when to pick him up. Ask us how he looks and if they’ve done exactly what we wanted. They thank us for trusting them and for our business. They even send us a thank-you follow-up email. Saying if we have any problems, they’ll fix them free of charge.

Who treats you like their best customer? Now think how you treat your most-important customer – your teenager. When you change and become better communicators, your teenager changes and improves.

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