Does your teen know it all about everything and everyone? When you talk about any subject does your teen have an opinion? That she offers up as an irrefutable fact. No questions asked. No doubts. 100% accurate. And when you question her so-called fact, she turns on you like a caged tigress.
The subject does not matter. Your teen know it all is an expert on any and all topics. Religion. Sex. Women’s Rights. Money. Addiction. Fashion. Music. Movies. Politics. Sports. Education. Jobs. Cars. Food. Entertainment. Science. Your teenage daughter has great wisdom. Well beyond her 16 years. She may not amaze you with her incredible knowledge. But she certainly puts herself on the level with all the world’s great women thinkers. Joan of Arc. Queen Elizabeth. Louisa Mae Alcott. Madonna. Marie Curie. Mother Teresa. Hillary Clinton. Oprah Winfrey. Angelina Jolie. Unfortunately, mom’s fails to make her list.
Conversations with your teen know it all
What happens when you attempt to talk to your teen know it all daughter about something? Let’s put aside for the time being controversial topics of concern to all girls and women like abortion, marriage and equality. Surely fireworks will erupt when your old fashioned views conflict with her millennial ones.
Mother-daughter talks about the simple stuff
Instead, let’s look at an everyday issue for your 16-year-old know-it-all daughter. For instance her homework. You only want simple answers. To your simple questions. “How much homework do you have tonight? And when are you going to do it?” All of a sudden you violated a sacred boundary. And entered into off-limits territory. No sooner are the words out of your mouth. She knocks them back into your face. Tersely responding, “Nevermind. I’ll take care of it.”
Consequently, you respond, not in a loving and kind manner. But as if you’re the demanding, authoritarian teacher. And she’s an insulted, failing student that’s questioning your authority. “Don’t get smart with me young lady. She replies, “Nevermind. It’s my problem.” I do mind. I’m your mother.” Needless to say, the communication goes downhill and nowhere from there.
Loving action solves the problem
Let’s start all over. Replace your “How much” and “When are you” questions with three simple sentence offerings. “I want to help you with your homework and anything else that you need. Let me know what I can do to help you. That gives me more joy and happiness than anything else because I love you. Always have. Always will.